Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of
One of the most painful experiences in life is betrayal: the breach of a trust or disloyalty. Betrayal tears the strength from us and rips our hearts. Who can forget the look on Mel Gibson’s face in Braveheart when he pulls off the helmet of his enemy only to reveal Robert the Bruce, his supposed friend? There was no fight left in him; the pain was too deep and it seemed his very will to live was sapped from him. In fact, it takes a great deal of effort to think of any movie or TV show that doesn’t have some form of betrayal as the bedrock of its evil whether it be abandonment, treason, adultery, etc. But we don’t really need the entertainment industry for this; most have experienced betrayal first hand at one time or another. The immediate emotions after being betrayed run the gamut from bitter sadness to blind rage to complete detachment; later we become jaded or apathetic. How does Christianity fit in with all of this? Should our reaction be any different than a non-Christian? The difficulty is that our thinking can become so irrational after we are betrayed that we are nearly immobilized. Worse yet is that the closer the person is to us, the more painful the experience and the greater likelihood that the person who betrayed us is one that we would be asking for comfort and support.
Suppose that we are relatively strong in the faith, then what? Maybe we can get our intellect to agree that whatever betrayal we have suffered is much less than the betrayal that Jesus suffered at the hand of Judas (Matt. 26:14-23); but we don’t feel any better. We know that God, in his sovereignty, has permitted our pain and we begin to be angry with God. To add to the difficulty we may even be technically “justified” in our feelings toward our betrayer because quite possibly we have genuinely been wronged; so we nurse our bitterness along. In my life I’ve found that when I’m angry with my friend and angry with God I’m generally angry with the world too. Just like if you feel heat, smell smoke, and see your shirt aflame you should stop, drop and roll; so also when we find ourselves angry at the world, our friends, and God we need to stop, drop and pray. Unfortunately, in this condition I find it most difficult to pray, mostly because I know God can fix it but I wonder why He doesn’t; I know that he is omnipotent, I just don’t know if He cares. I also know that I’m acting like a kid throwing a temper tantrum because God’s not doing things exactly the way I wanted – so clearly I’m not walking in His will. Of course just because I’m aware of these things doesn’t make it any easier to pray; I just know that I should.
Regardless of how badly we don’t want to pray, we must! We pray for the Comforter to dwell in us; Him who helps us in our weakness and intercedes with groanings too deep for words (Rom. 8:26-27). We must open our Bibles to hear the words of God: “…let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16) and “…humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Pet. 5:6-7) I find that too often another impediment to prayer is that I can’t see a solution. This is very ironic since it is exactly the times when our backs are to the sea being pressed by an insurmountable force that we need the waters to part. Our cry should not be the one of the Israelites, “Is it because there were no graves in
The question still remains, what about the betrayal? We didn’t deserve this! It seems that throughout the course of God’s dealings with mankind He has used man’s betrayal to show His grace and power; He is not thwarted by the plans of men (Prov. 19:21). Let’s start with Abel; he was betrayed and murdered by Cain, his own brother, because Cain was jealous of Abel’s righteousness (Gen. 4). God’s will was not impeded; Abel still speaks through his faith (Heb. 11:4; 12:24). It must have seemed to Abraham that God Himself was betraying him when asking for the sacrifice of Isaac. God’s purpose stood; He chose to bless all nations on the earth through Isaac (Gen. 22:18, Gal. 3:16). Isaac was betrayed by his wife and son to give the blessing to Jacob instead of Esau (Gen. 27). But even here God’s will remained unchanged; the blessing was given to the one God intended (Gen. 25:23). Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery (Gen. 37) in
Ultimately, it was through Judas betrayal of Jesus that salvation comes to us. If he had not died we could not live! We see that the faithful of old have been betrayed. We acknowledge that it is implicit in becoming a Christian that we will be betrayed (e.g. Matt. 5:11-12; 10:34-39; 24:10; 1 Pet. 4:12-16), as ones following after Christ. But how should we treat those who betray us? The clear and tall order is this: “…love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44) Even the words of Jesus, the only truly innocent one, on the cross reflect this, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) I don’t write these things because I have mastered them but rather because I want to know how to be holy, even when I am hurting. I have no doubt that I’ve betrayed people, hopefully only accidentally; but most of all, my sin is betrayal of God. Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ that he came to save His people from their sin (Matt. 1:21). So the practical answer to the question of how to deal with our anger about someone hurting us is best summed up by Paul: get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger. I know this doesn’t sound like the popular notion of expressing and validating our feelings, but it’s the mandate of Scripture because they separate us from God.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love… (Eph. 4:31-5:2, TNIV)
